Getting back to the sting of things

My temporary hiatus from the insanity of the NYC has most definately ended, and by my watch...it took only 4 days to get me back to my pre-vacation status. New York is such a great place...I LOVE IT!(said through teeth grinding at the sounds of the hoopties outrageously loud marching band of a car alarm)

I am up visiting with my family. The night before my 6am flight to Mexico I received a call that my step-grandmother had passed away. It was a hard thing to hear...she had been a part of my life for a good 21 years. Only a month or so ago, she had been diagnosed with lung cancer and within weeks, it had rapidly advanced to stage 4. She was living with my mom and stepdad after that point, and i cant imagine what it is like giving home care to someone you love when you know the end is near. 3 days after they began chemo, she passed away in the hospital. She did get to say goodbye to everyone, with the exception of a few, and had family by her side when she died.

So, many tears later, I decided to come up to visit as soon as I came back from my vacation. By some miracle of fate, I received 2 days off in a row this week. With an email from my sister saying her and my two neices had flown in from Florida for a bit, I rented a car last minute and drove up!

I love where I came from, don't get me wrong. It is very peaceful and serene here in Western Massachusetts. Not much happens around here outside the routine of your given day of the week. Shopping lists are created on Sundays and shopping commences Monday after work; coffee is pre-programmed to brew at 6am on the night before. My issue is that while the pace is great for a day or two, I am left bored and twitching in the corner...not having anywhere to escape to for miles and miles.

Last night, I called a longtime friend to meet for a beer and food, it was about 9:30pm and it took us FOREVER to think of a place to meet that was still serving food, let alone STILL OPEN at that hour on a tuesday! We finally had to decide on APPLEBEE"s of all places.....the "Shenannigan's" of the Western World (our waitress was properly chipper and wearing all her pieces of flair, although I am quite sure she muttered "fucking people *grumble**grumble* its 10 at night *grumble* *grumble* as she left our table when we said we needed more time to decide hahahhaha) A beer and a MONSTROUS spinach-artichoke dip later we agreed that it was time to go home and think of meeting up earlier tomorrow. Mission #1: find decent food in place of origin - FAILED.

I slept well, which is another thing that doesn't happen often here because the futon i usually sleep on is really a torture device in disguise. The surreal part, was i got the spare room that Ann (step-gran) had been living in before she died. It was filled with things that she held close to her heart. Pictures, clothes, paintings, knick-knacks... scented candles and sachets...you know grandmotherly things. I lay in bed in fear for about 30 minutes, nervous about apparitions and messges from beyond, but eventually slipped into the most serene sleep. It also rained, which could have been why i slept so well (it is my trigger....mom's womb must have had showers and storms...i sleep best when it is raining haha!)

Today I will spread myself thin, spending some time with the family and heading out to see Pat for a bit before I leave at 5. want to get into the city before 9 so I can do the laundry and get some photo work done. Work tomorrow - ICK...maybe the weather will be good and we will kick some major ass.... :)

OK. Off....Time to search out decent coffee... *wags hand to the sky* DAMN YOU STARBUCKS! DAMN YOU AND YOUR GOOD COFFEE STRAIGHT TO HELL! *picks up mug of sanka* sheeeeeeit...

South of our Border

So I have returned. I would like to think a more relaxed and even-edged person has found her way back to the states from 7 days of tranquility and decadence. I kept a journal while in Mexico so I will enter the days as they happened...long, lazy and languid they were... time flowed like water...drizzling the day away with chelada sol and coladas... spooning the suncreen upon supple new skin recently discovering the equatorial sun... The trip was like a savory dessert...almost too good to be real. I never thought that I could brown to a chocolate colour still... yes, the glow of youth is a perceived notion but when you live in a city, and are a work-a-holic... tan is a state of being that you sort-of give up on...the tones held fast in your memory of when you were 16 and bleaching your hair with lemon juice and giving the sun the middle finger with extra bronzing tan magnification oil on a daily basis in the meager backyard lawnchair you called your summer vacation.

I had no soundtrack for this trip though, which was somewhat disappointing. Perhaps the quiet gave me time to think... to reflect on the things that needed a bit more attention. Regardless, the cheesy 80's pop, latino remixes and Brasiliero were a fantastic backdrop to the trip, sending me back through time to when bonfires and kegs were the norm as well as clearing a path for new visions of a more calm and tranquil future. If only the rest of the world operated as such a pace, eh?



I took approximately 1200 photos...of which I am sorting and post processing now. To be sure, it will take me a few days to even screen them. I will post a few here with my entries, but you can see all that are worthy through the link to my flickr site on the blog page. There I post everything that I am not too embarrassed to show... i let strangers see more through my photos than i do to most friends. At least I often feel that way. But then again, I am a bit odd haha so...I'm probably reading more into it that needed.

So here i sit. I will enter my first day in a moment with some pics... hah
(side note: random is great on itunes, i just went from miles davis to 50cent to the Gipsy Kings and Rick James ahahha interesting, no?)

My comments may be brash at times, and sorry if it seems bitchy...but as someone told me recently...if you are perceptive, you will see things in a totally new light ... while you visit your new land as well as your home when you return..and those words couldn't have proven more true.

Missed my friends here in the states though.
Glad to be home, but now longing for the road to stretch beyond my reach again, and to feel that eager tug of anticipation at the thought of what new things i will encounter when the sun rises again.