me. reflecting. detox tea. thoughts wander...

You know those experiences that make you reflect on the decisions that helped you arrive at that exact place and time? I had one of those last night. Someone that I just recently came to know as they had just moved to NYC recently, that I would consider an acquaintance...not quite a friend as I have yet to learn enough about this person, but anyway... snapped at me.

When I say snapped, I mean...I leaned in and placed my hand on shoulder and said what's wrong in slightly different words and I was snapped at.

This sort of thing I do not handle well. Why?

#1 I rarely ever get angry in public anymore as it is simply too dramatic of a reaction to be taken seriously.
#2 It accomplishes nothing except to either alienate people or yourself. Obviously neither of which is what you want as you are fucking OUT.

It really pissed me off.

Made me think about why I would even be somewhere that this sort of behavior was fine to exhibit towards people. Made me angry...made me want to leave, which of course I didn't but still...

NEGATIVITY.

I have my issues, I have my problems... But if there is one thing I desperately try not to do, it's bring negativity to my friends and/or surroundings.

Call me stupid, call me naive.
Negativity breeds negativity.
Bad breeds bad.
Hence the elephant tattoo.

I remember it all...the good, the great, the sad, the painful... cursed to live it over and over. The elephant will remind me of what I am, of what I hate...and love. The elephant is the symbol of me.

And I lumber on, looking for the green waterways...thirsty.